By Linnda Durre, Ph.D., Author of Surviving the Toxic Workplace – Protect Yourself Against Co-workers Bosses and Work Environments That Poison Your Day published by McGraw Hill, February 19, 2010.

As a business and corporate consultant and psychotherapist, I’ve analyzed, worked with, and consulted with many difficult bosses over the years.  In order to cope and deal with them, you need to know why they act the way they do and how best to deal with them, in order to earn their respect, get things accomplished, change negative situations to positive ones, and preserve your sanity.

In my column, I will help you cope with a different type of boss, whether male or female. And remember – all of these toxic bosses in all of my columns can be of either gender.  Toxicity does not discriminate according to the sexes. The previous ones include: Dick the Dictator, Bashia the Backstabber, Sewell the Sexual Harasser, Carl the Control Freak, Paula the Passive Aggressive, Clayton the Clueless, Greta the Gossip, Susie the Sugar Coater, Ian the Idea Stealer, Al the Alcoholic, Nancy the Narcissist, Donald the Deal Maker,Vernon the Verbal Attacker, Bobby the Boss’s Relative, Cynthia the Silent Treatment Torturer, Phil the Philanderer, Ned the Negligent, Sal the Slave Driver, Porter the Political Soap Boxer, Michael the Micromanager, Wade the One Upper, Betty the Battle Axe, Phoebe the Phony, Peter the Pig, Bill the Big Picture Boss, Dan the Detail Boss, Ellery the Yeller, Sandy the Snob, Blaine the Blamer, Winnie the Whiner, Eric the Erratic, and Hy the Hider.

THE SITUATION

Christine the Cruel is your boss and she does nasty and mean things to you without any reason, which constantly surprise, shock, infuriate, and hurt you.  You find she has revoked your planned vacation with the excuse that they might need you for an upcoming project.  Your attendance at your son’s soccer game has to be cancelled because she gives you a last minute project and you have to stay and use the firm’s database that you can’t access from home. On your wedding anniversary for which you made expensive dinner reservations months ago, she tells you have an urgent report due on her desk in the morning. Everything you hold near and dear will be taken away from you or threatened in some way by Christine — from your parking place, lunch hour, home life, children, spouse, raises, promotions, contacts, colleagues, and friends.

She delights in torturing you, hurting your feelings, and alienating you from your co-workers and higher ups with behaviors that are ruthless, harmful, and evil.  She likes to hurt, thwart, derail, and make fun of you and others, and she does this behind your back and in front of others.

You never know when and how she will strike. Working for Christine is like walking through a land mine field. An explosion could happen at any second. You’ve begun to have similar symptoms of PTSD – Post-traumatic stress disorder – nightmares, insomnia, eating disorders, anxiety, fears, phobias, depression, crying spells, suicidal ideation, fatigue, and hopelessness, just to name a few.  Your spouse and family are worried about you.

EXPLANATION

Christine the Cruel might have been an abused child – physical, mental, emotional, and/or sexual abuse may have played a big part in her childhood.  She is angry, nasty, and sees the world as a dangerous place. The irony is she is part of the danger.  She is going to “get you before you get her.”  So she is an offensive damage machine and justifies her behavior on you as a perceived threat. No matter what you may say or do, she looks at life as a chess game and she acts like she’s Bobby Fischer who HAS to win. She will outsmart you with her cunning.

You act like an abused child – you think if you just keep your room (desk) clean and finish your homework (reports), Christine won’t be malevolent to you.  NOT SO!  She will come up with even more bizarre plots to humiliate you. There is nothing you can do to win with her because she is a malicious, spiteful, heartless, and sadistic person who likes to hurt, scare, threaten, and intimidate others.

Christine operates from a win/lose philosophy where she always wins and her aim is for you to always lose.

SOLUTION

There are several options when you have Christine for a boss:

1)   If the higher ups are on to her, there is a possibility they will fire her. You can appeal to them. But remember, she is so crafty that she may have blackmail information on them and they simply won’t let her go because she knows too much. She may also have dirt on the HR Director who will also be powerless to do anything as well.

2)   If her own boss isn’t intimidated or scared of her, go to them.  But remember, she may know things about her own boss that she can use for her own job security so she can’t be fired.

3)   If the entire company, including your own boss, is full of Christines, then you will need to get out, find another job, and leave as quickly as possible. The Christines of the world are like cockroaches – they have been here for centuries, are clever, street fighting, dirty bugs who will outsmart you at every turn.

4)   Your best bet is to get a good letter of recommendation from someone at the company because Christine probably won’t give you one. Leave for a new position, but line it up BEFORE you hand in your resignation.

I hope these suggestions help you deal with Christine the Cruel.

—Linnda Durré, Ph.D., is a psychotherapist, business consultant, corporate trainer, national speaker, and columnist. She has hosted and co-produced two live call-in TV shows, including “Ask The Family Therapist” on America’s Health Network, which was associated with Mayo Clinic and aired from Universal Orlando. She is the author of “Surviving the Toxic Workplace: Protect Yourself Against the Co-Workers, Bosses, and Work Environments That Poison Your Day” (2010 – McGraw-Hill). The book’s website is: www.survivingthetoxicworkplace.com She has been interviewed on Oprah, 60 Minutes, The Today Show, Daytime, Good Morning America, Canada AM, and The O’Reilly Factor (twice), and the national and/or local news on ABC, CBS, NBC, NPR, PBS, Fox and CW, as well as by WSJ, Inc. Magazine, Forbes, Investor’s Business Daily, Business Week, Job Week, Career Builder, Law Office Administrator, and many more. She has written for Forbes, AOL, CareerBuilder, Monster, A&U Magazine, Orlando Business Journal, and American Cities Business Journals. For more information about his consulting or speaking, contact his at Linnda.Durre@gmail.com and 407-739-8620.

America’s Worst Bosses 2011 have cost their employers over $145 million

LAS VEGAS, Dec. 19, 2011 – eBossWatch, the leading career resource that enables people to anonymously rate their bosses and evaluate potential employers, today published the third annual list of Americas Worst Bosses.

This year’s worst bosses include a famous actor, a movie producer, a Fortune 500 CEO, two US Navy officers, two doctors, two judges, two district attorneys, three police chiefs, a US Congressman, a US Senator, and a US Ambassador.

An eBossWatch panel of workplace experts selected and ranked the worst bosses from across the country.  To date, the 2011 America’s Worst Bosses have cost their employers over $145 million in monetary damages and lawsuit settlement payments.

“We continue to be shocked and outraged by the egregious harassment and discrimination that happens in far too many American workplaces,” said Asher Adelman, founder of eBossWatch. “The America’s Worst Bosses list sends a clear warning to would-be toxic managers: abusive behavior towards one’s employees and coworkers will not go unpunished.”

The states with the most worst bosses are: California (19), Florida (8), New York (6), New Jersey (6), and Wisconsin (5).

The entire list of America’s Worst Bosses 2011 is located at http://ebosswatch.com/americas-worst-bosses-2011.php.

About eBossWatch

Founded in 2007, eBossWatch is a popular career resource that helps people evaluate potential employers and avoid hostile workplaces. eBossWatch enables people to anonymously rate their bosses in a professional and non-libelous manner. eBossWatch is also the publisher of the National Sexual Harassment Registry and the annual America’s Worst Bosses list.

eBossWatch has been featured or mentioned extensively in the media, including on ABCNews.com, Fox News, Forbes.com, BusinessWeek.com, Fast Company, AOL, BNET, American Bar Association Journal, Monster.com, Workforce Management Magazine, New York Post, TheStreet.com, Chicago Tribune, Orange County Register, Boston Herald, Houston Chronicle, Seattle Times, San Francisco Chronicle, Star-Ledger, Miami Herald, and the Toronto Globe & Mail.

For more information, go to www.ebosswatch.com or email us at contact(at)ebosswatch(dot)com.

By Linnda Durre, Ph.D., Author of Surviving the Toxic Workplace – Protect Yourself Against Co-workers Bosses and Work Environments That Poison Your Day published by McGraw Hill, February 19, 2010.

As a business and corporate consultant and psychotherapist, I’ve analyzed, worked with, and consulted with many difficult bosses over the years.  In order to cope and deal with them, you need to know why they act the way they do and how best to deal with them, in order to earn their respect, get things accomplished, change negative situations to positive ones, and preserve your sanity.

In my column, I will help you cope with a different type of boss, whether male or female. And remember – all of these toxic bosses in all of my columns can be of either gender.  Toxicity does not discriminate according to the sexes. The previous ones include: Dick the Dictator, Bashia the Backstabber, Sewell the Sexual Harasser, Carl the Control Freak, Paula the Passive Aggressive, Clayton the Clueless, Greta the Gossip, Susie the Sugar Coater, Ian the Idea Stealer, Al the Alcoholic, Nancy the Narcissist, Donald the Deal Maker,Vernon the Verbal Attacker, Bobby the Boss’s Relative, Cynthia the Silent Treatment Torturer, Phil the Philanderer, Ned the Negligent, Sal the Slave Driver, Porter the Political Soap Boxer, Michael the Micromanager, Wade the One Upper, Betty the Battle Axe, Phoebe the Phony, Peter the Pig, Bill the Big Picture Boss, Dan the Detail Boss, Ellery the Yeller, Sandy the Snob, Blaine the Blamer, Winnie the Whiner, and Eric the Erratic.

THE SITUATION

Hy is a hider. He makes you do all the work for him – dirty work and otherwise – yet takes all the glory.  He locks himself in his office and orders you NOT to disturb him. He may also leave the office and you never know where he is or where to find him.  Or he does both.  Does he take three hour lunches? Is he having an affair?  Does he have family emergencies?  Is he constantly out of town?  Perhaps he’s married and his wife constantly calls you wondering where he is. You don’t know and you tell her so. Maybe she suspects you’re having an affair with her husband because she can’t get in touch with him either.  How do you help her, set limits, and keep your job?

Hy may also be a hider of documents, files, and reports. How can you assist him if you don’t know where he puts things?  Whether you don’t know where he is or don’t know where the paperwork is, Hy puts you in double binds – you have all the responsibility but none of the authority.  He blames you when things go wrong, but since you don’t know where he is, it’s impossible to call him and tell him of emergencies that he has to know about and solve. You can text him and leave him messages on his home and cell phones, but he never returns the calls. What are you to do? You can’t win with him.  The situation gets crazier and crazier and you feel more helpless. You’re thinking of quitting and finding another job, but in this economic climate you are fearful of doing that.

THE EXPLANATION

Hy may have learned avoidance as a coping mechanism when he was a boy.  He may have been beaten, severely or unfairly punished, and he learned to just keep quiet and say nothing.

Hy may be elusive, sneaky, and/or shy. He is an avoider of conflict. Yet behind the scenes, you don’t know if he is manipulative, ruthless and keeping you out of the information loop, or just shy.  He might even be both.  He may be afraid of facing the facts or avoiding a crime.  He may be frightened of taking action for a pressing matter so he just hides and keeps avoiding it.

He may have been promoted to the position by someone who likes him, or it may be a family business and he is in his position because he was the next in line, and yet he may be totally unqualified for the position.  But he’s in the position and doesn’t seem to be in danger of being fired, promoted, or transferred.  No matter what, you feel frustrated, angry, and lost at sea.   If it’s a family business, his boss and/or the HR director may be a relative of his and you’re hesitant to report him or express your dissatisfaction. You’re also afraid that they won’t do anything about it.  No matter where you turn, you feel helpless.

THE SOLUTION

The first thing to do is document everything – all of the times that Hy has been absent from his job, when you could not find important documents,  and every time he has avoided making a crucial decision – as well as all the times you tried to contact him on his cell phone, home phone and through emails and texts. Print out all the text messages and phone messages. Make sure you call him from your private cell phone as well so you have documentation on your own private cell phone bill.  Many times corporations circle the wagons and destroy your documentation, like corporate phone records. Don’t let that happen. Protect yourself.

Make copies of everything he gives you and start your own filing system that has a lock and key that only you can open. You may also want to keep another set of files at your home so no one can get at them.  Be careful if the company accuses you of taking “confidential” material home with you.

You can report it to Hy’s boss and also to HR.  Go to them with copies of your records so they can see how many times you have contacted him.  Ask them to speak to Hy.  Ask for a transfer to another department or division if you like the company and want to keep your benefits and 401 K.  If you feel that Hy’s boss or HR is covering for Hy, you may still want to report it to them and then follow up with an email, cc’ing everyone important.

Be careful if Hy tries to make you his scapegoat. Document everything so you don’t get blamed for his negligence and avoidance. Print out all emails, text messages, and keep it for your records in case you have a legal issue, have to sue them in a law case, or if someone sues the company because of Hy’s incompetence.

If you decide to leave your job, you should probably have another job lined up or at least have made contacts to other companies.  Have good letters of recommendation from others in the company to bring to your next job application.

I hope this helps in dealing with Hy the Hider.

—Linnda Durré, Ph.D., is a psychotherapist, business consultant, corporate trainer, international speaker, and columnist. She has hosted and co-produced two live call-in TV shows, including “Ask The Family Therapist” on America’s Health Network, which was associated with Mayo Clinic and aired from Universal Orlando. She is the author of “Surviving the Toxic Workplace: Protect Yourself Against Co-Workers, Bosses, and Work Environments That Poison Your Day” (2010 – McGraw-Hill). The book’s website is: www.survivingthetoxicworkplace.com Her book interviews include Forbes, Wall Street Journal, Business Week, Investors Business Daily, Inc Magazine, Monster, AOL, Yahoo, and others.

She has been interviewed on Oprah, 60 Minutes, The Today Show, Daytime, Good Morning America, Canada AM, and The O’Reilly Factor (twice), and the national and/or local news on ABC, CBS, NBC, NPR, PBS, Fox and CW. She has written for Forbes, CareerBuilder, Monster, A&U Magazine, Orlando Business Journal, and American Cities Business Journals. For more information about her consulting or speaking, contact her at Linnda.Durre@gmail.com and 407-739-8620 or 323-333-1393.

The EEOC had accused Jay Medicar’s former director of operations of creating a sexually hostile work environment by demanding sex from five female employees in exchange for pay raises and schedule changes.

The EEOC will be conducting an investigation into the allegations.

Source: The Pocono Record

A former waitress at Elixir Lounge and Night Club in Hess Village, Canada was awarded $300,000 in a civil lawsuit after having been sexually assaulted by the night club manager, Denis Vranich.

Vranich was previously sentenced to 12 months of house arrest after pleading guilty to a criminal charge of sexual assault.

Source: The Hamilton Spectator

Eliza Sproul, a former MTV production coordinator, claims that she was sexually harassed by a coworker and subjected to a hostile work environment while the reality show “The Hills” was being filmed in Costa Rica.

Source: The Wrap

The EEOC claims that Hispanic employees at DHL’s Dallas warehouse were called derogatory names and slurs on an ongoing basis.

DHL management allegedly ignored the complaints that had been reported to them, and the company allegedly fired union steward Troy Petty in retaliation after he reported the hostile work environment that Hispanic employees claim to have endured.

The Michigan City, Indiana restaurant was sued after its manager was accused of subjecting a female employee to a sexually hostile work environment for several months.

By Linnda Durre, Ph.D., Author of Surviving the Toxic Workplace – Protect Yourself Against Co-workers Bosses and Work Environments That Poison Your Day published by McGraw Hill, February 19, 2010.

As a business and corporate consultant and psychotherapist, I’ve analyzed, worked with, and consulted with many difficult bosses over the years.  In order to cope and deal with them, you need to know why they act the way they do and how best to deal with them, in order to earn their respect, get things accomplished, change negative situations to positive ones, and preserve your sanity.

In my column, I will help you cope with a different type of boss, whether male or female. And remember – all of these toxic bosses in all of my columns can be of either gender.  Toxicity does not discriminate according to the sexes. The previous ones include: Dick the Dictator, Bashia the Backstabber, Sewell the Sexual Harasser, Carl the Control Freak, Paula the Passive Aggressive, Clayton the Clueless, Greta the Gossip, Susie the Sugar Coater, Ian the Idea Stealer, Al the Alcoholic, Nancy the Narcissist, Donald the Deal Maker,Vernon the Verbal Attacker, Bobby the Boss’s Relative, Cynthia the Silent Treatment Torturer, Phil the Philanderer, Ned the Negligent, Sal the Slave Driver, Porter the Political Soap Boxer, Michael the Micromanager, Wade the One Upper, Betty the Battle Axe, Phoebe the Phony, Peter the Pig, Bill the Big Picture Boss, Dan the Detail Boss, Ellery the Yeller, Sandy the Snob, Blaine the Blamer, and Winnie the Whiner.

THE SITUATION

Eric changes his mind constantly.  He is moody and you never know what he’s going to say and do next. You feel like you are walking on egg shells all the time.  You don’t know if he’s going to applaud you or fire you.  Job security is not a quality you feel in your position.  Eric can be elated one minute and then deeply depressed the next – communicative and talkative one day and totally silent and isolated the next day. His moods fluctuate often and intensely – the good moods can last every morning and then turn dark in the afternoons, or Eric can be positive for days and then turn angry and critical for the next week.  It’s unpredictable.  In psych jargon, what you are experiencing is known as intermittent reinforcement and it’s the most maddening thing to deal with because of Eric’s unpredictable moods.  There is no predictable pattern to how he will treat you.  You feel hyper-vigilant always on the look out, trying to read his moods. Sometimes you think it’s your fault or something you’ve said or done. It’s NOT!

Other people in the department experience the same thing and you find solace that it’s not just you who experiences this. They, like you, don’t know whether Eric is going to give them a compliment or start screaming that they’re incompetent. They are clueless to know if Eric is going to totally change the direction of the project and scrap everything that people have been working on for weeks or months or tell them that it’s fine and congratulate them on a job well done.  Working for Eric is frustrating at best.

Most co-workers are too frightened to say anything. It may be difficult to get your fellow employees to talk, back you up, or say anything if and when you go to HR.  But they all feel like Eric is wasting their time and the company’s money by giving people different directions and then changing his mind again, for the second or even the tenth time!  And they are correct.  The company has the right to know if Eric is wasting company money and employee time.  And it may be up to you to inform them.  Best to go to HR for this.

THE EXPLANATION

Eric may have biochemical disorders: either attention deficit disorder (A.D.D.), or attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), and/or bi-polar disorder, also known as manic-depression.  He may even have ADD and bipolar disorder or ADHD and bipolar disorder.  It is important to read up on the symptoms of all three disorders, since many times they can look very similar. The DSM-IV has listings that will educate you in your search as will other websites on the Internet, such as Web M.D.  The medication and treatment for these different maladies are very different and a professional evaluation and diagnosis is crucial for proper handling of these conditions.

A.D.D. exhibits symptoms that include distractibility, short attention span, lack of focus and poor concentration, inability or impairment to finish things, procrastination, forgetfulness, impaired memory, spaciness, disorganization, and poor time management – being late for or totally forgetting appointments and assignments.

ADHD can have all or some of the symptoms of A.D.D. listed above, with the added factors of hyperactivity and inability to sit still. Rocking, moving, twitching, foot shaking, finger tapping, and other such tics can all be additional characteristics.

Bi-polar disorder is a biochemical imbalance – mostly genetic and found in the family tree somewhere – due to a lack of Lithium, which is a naturally occurring body salt that is found in the blood. There can be episodes of mania or depression, or a combination of both that can be rapid cycling – changing hourly – or the cycling can occur over the span of several days, weeks, or months going from highs – rapid speech, thought racing, enormous spurts of energy, high productivity, impulsive spending, sexual promiscuity or high sexual energy – to depression – crying, lethargy, feelings of hopelessness, futility, low self-esteem, and worthlessness; sleeping too much, and suicidal ideation and/or attempts.

Many times people with ADD, ADHD, and/or bi-polar disorder are in denial about what they have, don’t want to find out, or are so used to their disabilities that it is “normal” to them. They tend to self-medicate with alcohol and drugs, including, but not limited to, marijuana, amphetamines, cocaine, tranquilizers, and sleeping pills.   These do not get at the root cause of the disorder and can be addictive.  Eric needs to see a qualified psychiatrist and get on the proper medication.  It will definitely help him.

THE SOLUTION

You may need to go to HR first to handle the more delicate aspects of confronting Eric on his A.D.D., ADHD, and/or his bi-polar disorder.  If you have a sympathetic HR director, they need to be aware of how Eric is driving you and other people in the department crazy.  Bring a list of all of his transgressions that have occurred – what days and times – how and when Eric changed his mind about projects, flew off the handle, didn’t show up for meetings or work, cost the company time and money, didn’t meet project deadlines, felt the project was hopeless, scraped the entire thing, etc.  The company has a right to know the facts.

You may need to inform HR that you and others believe that Eric may have A.D.D. ADHD, and/or bi-polar disorder and Eric may need medication and to see a psychiatrist.  Go into HR with handouts from professional websites and send them links about both disorders that you have found from credible and professional links on the Internet. These would include the DSM-IV [Diagnostic and Statistical Manual from the American Psychiatric Association].

If you don’t have an HR department that is willing to do this, you may have to go to Eric’s boss.  He may be too busy to know what has been going on.  Bring the list of Eric’s transgressions and the Internet research and print outs on bi-polar disorder and ADD/ADHD with you.

If you feel you can’t do that or if Eric is the company owner and doesn’t have a boss, then take your conversation with Eric in a series of small steps, starting with a gentle discussion of how everyone wants to do the best job they can in finishing the project – it’s just that the game plan changes constantly and you and other employees would like that to stop. Give him the examples.  Be prepared, however, to be fired if Eric is in a very impulsive state and doesn’t want to hear the facts.  You may want to start out gently with compliments first and say something like this:

“Eric, I admire your creativity and your ability to switch gears very quickly.  You are able to multi-task very well and that is a gift. What I find difficult to deal with is that you change your mind so often that I rarely remember what you wanted me to do in the first place.  And then when I’m half way through an assignment, you change it completely, which has wasted my time, energy and efforts, as well as wasted the company money and productivity.  I’d like you to think a little more completely before you give me an assignment so I can save myself and the company the time and effort that goes into my work.  That way we all win and the company doesn’t get any complaints from about why certain projects may be behind schedule.  I would be happy to sit down with you and strategize how you’d like each project to be finalized – how you visualize the goals, accomplishments, and end results of what we’re working on.  If we could do that together, I could help you to be more specific with others in the department and they would feel more secure in the direction of their assignments. I hope you can do that because I really love my job and I enjoy working for this company.”

If you pass the first conversation with Eric, and feel Eric is listening, then work up to you feeling more secure about discussing A.D.D., ADHD, and/or bi-polar disorder. Or you may want to wait a few days or weeks to see if there has been any improvement.  Either way, bring the articles with you and suggest that Eric see his physician and a psychiatrist to help him understand the erratic nature of his behavior.  Once again, be prepared to be fired, since his impulsivity can return at any moment.   You may want to say something like this:

“Eric, I enjoy working with you, and I am concerned about what I experience as unpredictable mood swings.  I’ve done some reading and I have some articles here that I thought would be helpful to you. Perhaps you want to get a check-up with your physician or consult a psychiatrist about your symptoms. I’m sure they can help you and it’s covered under our insurance plan. I hope that you can seek help because I enjoy my job and would like the constant changing of plans to stabilize. If there’s anything I can do to help you, please let me know.”

I hope this helps in dealing with Eric the Erratic one.

—Linnda Durré, Ph.D., is a psychotherapist, business consultant, corporate trainer, international speaker, and columnist. She has hosted and co-produced two live call-in TV shows, including “Ask The Family Therapist” on America’s Health Network, which was associated with Mayo Clinic and aired from Universal Orlando. She is the author of “Surviving the Toxic Workplace: Protect Yourself Against Co-Workers, Bosses, and Work Environments That Poison Your Day” (2010 – McGraw-Hill). The book’s website is: www.survivingthetoxicworkplace.com Her book interviews include Forbes, Wall Street Journal, Business Week, Investors Business Daily, Inc Magazine, Monster, AOL, Yahoo, and others.

She has been interviewed on Oprah, 60 Minutes, The Today Show, Daytime, Good Morning America, Canada AM, and The O’Reilly Factor (twice), and the national and/or local news on ABC, CBS, NBC, NPR, PBS, Fox and CW. She has written for Forbes, CareerBuilder, Monster, A&U Magazine, Orlando Business Journal, and American Cities Business Journals. For more information about her consulting or speaking, contact her atLinnda.Durre@gmail.com and 407-739-8620  or 323-333-1393.